Honestly Thinking

Honestly thinking (& rethinking) about God, the universe, and everything in between

Tag: shame

Can You Pass the Multiple Choice Test?

April 8, 2024 / / 2 Comments

(Part One of “Hearing God’s Voice”)

35,000.

That’s what neuroscientific researchers claim is the average number of choices a person makes per day.

Talk about multiple choices!

I’m not the first one to write about this figure. Do a quick Google search and you will quickly see a vast array of articles on the topic related to mental health, decision fatigue, leadership strategies, dieting, creativity, or any number of areas you can think of.

Of course, many of those articles exist in order to provide helpful strategies for overcoming and success in each of these areas, and I’m sure a number of them are helpful.

Few people that I know actually experience true peace.

I’m also certain that anyone who takes a look around at the world we live in will quickly conclude that a large number of people continue to make poor decisions every single day. Likely, if you honestly examine yourself, you will also conclude that there are many decisions you make daily that you constantly question – either regretting past decisions, fearing the consequences of current choices, or anxious about future ones.

Few people that I know actually experience true peace. In fact, I would say I don’t know anyone who doesn’t experience regret, fear, or anxiety on at least some small level every day. While regret can sometimes be good in terms of helping us to make better future decisions, and fear can be warning signals to avoid danger, many times they can also overwhelmingly control us and actually cause us to make future poor decisions – thus, creating a vicious cycle of poor choices, shame and fear, poor choices to cover the shame and fear, more shame and fear, etc.

That 35,000 number, of course, is not just about the big decisions. It has to do with minute choices you make second by second, such as your choice to even click on this article or whether to continue reading past this sentence. A significant percentage are often on a much more subconscious level.

I point this out because I believe these 35,000 choices have a much greater impact on everything than we tend to realize and are ultimately at the root of every single problem we experience today. 

With so many multiple choices to make each day, is there a way to pass this test? Continue reading

9 Signs You Might Be Arrogant and Not Know It

November 23, 2019 / / 14 Comments

I am the most arrogant person in the world.

Really, it’s true. Don’t believe me? Then clearly you aren’t nearly as intelligent or wise as me to be able to figure it out.

And being the #1 most arrogant person in the world, I figure that makes me the world’s topmost leading expert on the subject.

The truth is God has really been kicking my butt over the last few years (especially this last year), progressively revealing my level of arrogance. Like peeling layers of an onion (each producing a few more tears), I’ve come to discover areas of egotism I never knew existed before.

We are all familiar with the braggadocios, narcissistic personality types – the ones who very openly make every conversation and outward action about themselves. But what we are not as acquainted with is the much more subtler symptoms of pride – the ones that often go undetected but are ultimately just as destructive to you and those around you.

In discovering these signs, I’ve learned that they are detectable when you analyze your motivations and ask yourself if they are centered around one or more of the following: self-importance, self-preservation, or self-empowerment. Each one, of course, makes it all about you. And as I’ve come to find out, I’ve made life a lot more about me than I previously realized.

The thing is, while you will never surpass me in arrogance (not even close), it’s possible that as you analyze the three motivators in relation to your life, you might discover you too have arrogance and didn’t realize it.

Thus, I present to you at least 9 Signs You Might be Arrogant and Not Know It: Continue reading

Dude, Seriously, She’s Just Not That Into You

December 2, 2017 / / 7 Comments

OK, guys, so there’s this 2004 book called He’s Just Not That Into You, popular with women because it exposed the lies they often tell themselves in order to be in relationships with jerk men.

With the recent wave of sexual assault and harassment allegations against so many prominent men, it’s obvious there are also lies men tell themselves, causing them to act horrifically stupid toward women and girls.

With the trending of #MeToo, it’s also clear the problem isn’t just famous men – it’s a whole bunch of you “regular” guys, too.

If you are one of those guys, I’m not quite sure how to get this through your thick skull, as I’m not sure if it’s because you’re brain dead or you just don’t care, but this notion that she somehow “likes it” is a bunch of crock. She doesn’t.

So let me just tell you man to man…or perhaps in this case, man to boy…dude, seriously, she’s just not that into you.

  • She works for you or is trying to get hired. With a few flirtatious hints you think she’ll be impressed by your power. While it’s true she might be intimidated a bit by your force, in the end she’ll just think of you as weak and pathetic. She’s there to get a paycheck and she’s just not that into you.
  • You’re at a gas station and see an attractive woman all alone pumping gas. You decide to randomly approach her with “smooth” verbiage about her looks. What you see is a girl fawning over your flattering words. What she sees is some scary, pervert coming at her, and debates about pouring gas on you and lighting a match. She’s there to get fuel and she’s just not that into you.

Continue reading

Jesus and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Woman Caught in Adultery (as told by the church)

May 27, 2017 / / 0 Comments

Most of you are probably familiar with the story of Jesus and the woman caught in adultery, but there is an alternate version of this story that is often told by many in the church. Though they may not use these exact words – for it is usually in actions, misplaced theology, or thoughts – it is told, nonetheless.

And whether it is intentional or unintentional or a problem with what was communicated or the filters we receive it through, it is the story all too often heard.

The following is that version:

Jesus and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Woman Caught in Adultery (as told by the church)

Continue reading

We Should be Naked: Why Religion is a Symptom and Not the Solution

April 2, 2017 / / 2 Comments

Bouguereau, The First Mourning, ca. 1888

Back in 1974, Ray Stevens released a popular song titled “The Streak” about a guy running around town naked. At the time, as a 6-year-old kid, I thought it was just the funniest thing – and so apparently did millions of other people, putting it at # 8 for the whole year on the Billboard charts (weird…yeah, I know).

I guess the idea of people running around in the buff in public just made us all snicker.

Modesty is such a weird thing for us humans, especially in Western culture. With debates about public breastfeeding and yoga pants juxtaposed against Victoria’s Secret signs and popular TV programs that show a lot of skin, it is clear we don’t have any real consensus on exactly what is “too much.”

But it gets even weirder when I tell you this:

We’re all supposed to be naked.

Yes, seriously.

It’s even scriptural.

Now don’t be jumping to conclusions here and think I’m advocating we all start trotting around in the literal footsteps of Ray Stevens’ song. I’m not.

But it’s right there in the Bible and is something that even the most prudish followers know but don’t care to admit. Continue reading

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